'Emotions Ke loose motions ....'

Why iam i this way ??. Why do i feel lonely all the time. ?? Why do i call myself a "tragedy king" ?? Why does the dog in my street bark every time on seeing me ??
Well these are some of the million dollar questions i put to myself. I know i exagerated a bit, but who cares. If u think it isn't worth worrying abt. Think again. The first impression ppl get when they see me is tht iam an extrovert and fun to be with. They always end up with "is-he-sick-or-wht" expression. I wont blame them. Its jus that i develop an attachment dat bit extra to their liking. Without even considering about their feelings towards me.

At one time i feel over the top, and the next moment start singing "chal akela ... " in an awful voice, which is powerful enough to take anyone into depression. I wonder whether its congenital defect or does it have to do anything with my zodiac sign. FYI, iam a cancerian.

Well iam going through not-so-good days. Work was hectic at its best. I had to send a snapshot of my weekly attendance to my friends to say dat i do work :D. 'Release' is the word PMs use to sentence us in a jail called cubicle. I can't explain how i felt at dat moment. Weekends completely in office. Can u think of any other nightmare ??. I dont know why these code releases are always on Monday. PMs must be working hard on schedules to make us sweat with the a/c on. Well, no point in dwelling on this. Therez a famous saying in english. Though its a non-veg one. Complete discretion recommended. If u can't escape the ........ , enjoy the .... . N dats what iam following. U think u can push urself to the limit, but it comes at the cost of side-effects. Like frustration, anger to name a few.

On a personal note. Things have been at their worst possible best.

Some things have to end. They jus cant keep crawling at the cost of ones self-respect. Therez a limit for everything. The more u think about it, the more it hurts. Is liking n caring for ppl a sin ?. Y don't they understand that. Does it get to their heads ??. If that's the case, then iam not far behind either. Iam ready to show them the real meaning of that phrase. These days i really needed a smeone to console me. I really miss them.

The bad news is that, i have started being rude. No point in being a mimosa, when ppl take u as easy as a samosa. I know dats the worst u cud have read for a while. I don't know, iam loosing my mind. N i have started using the word "Busy". Earlier, even if my PM was breathing under my neck, i would have never used it. I always thought, we can't be busy to a extent, where we cant have time for our loved ones. Well as tasneem says, its all about prioritizing things. The problem with me is, i have neva tried to put things in perspective. I have leant more lessons now, than i had learnt in my acads. N i think its high time dat i implement them.

Dn't rememba where i saw this , " Neva make someone a priority in ur life, when ur jus a option in their's". I think it fits the bill, abt wht iam trying to say now. . May b, its the only solution for my probs. "Der aye, doorust aye" type.

I know iam sick. N i need to take a break. Before i exhale any more fire. I'll take leave.